“Never underestimate someone.” I’ve heard this phrase a lot since my childhood. But I’ve rarely heard, “Never overestimate someone.”
People tend to overestimate others based on so many factors. In my life so far, I know that many times I’ve overestimated people because of the college they went to, the brands they wear, the car they drive, their income, their social media following, the way they look, the quality of their work, etc. And I’ve been in situations where others overestimated me for similar reasons.
I think it’s a relative thing. For example, if someone earns X amount, maybe it’s just human nature to overestimate someone earning 10X. I don’t know where this comes from, but it’s just there. And it used to take away so much of my peace. It took me years and many experiences to understand this and free myself from that trap. I’m grateful to the Lord that it all happened.
This change within me happened gradually and slowly. Around 2017, I was working as a digital artist with one of my friends. You can still check out our page on Instagram: @doodlebros.in.
On this journey, our benchmark for growth used to be creating top-notch, detailed artwork and gaining fame (which could be converted into more orders and revenue). Many times, we made artworks of celebrities and always hoped they’d notice us and share our work. We believed that if they shared our work, we’d gain followers and credibility.
At that time, many interesting things happened. Our work reached several celebrities, and they did share it. The biggest and my favorite moment was when Sidhu Moose Wala shared our artwork. (I’ve written an entire chapter on that separately.)
One day, I got the chance to talk to a TV actor over the phone. And it was huge for me—like, way huge. It broke many mental barriers. I used to see people like him as different. I used to overestimate them—people with affluent lifestyles, massive social media followings, money, etc. I was always curious about how they were in their normal lives.
And when I finally had that phone call, I was blown away. I was shocked to realize that he was just a normal human being like me. Fortunately, he was very humble and treated others with utmost respect. I was truly impressed. That call changed my perception of celebrities forever. After that, I interacted with many more people with large followings, and it all started feeling normal. It wasn’t a big deal anymore.
Now, if I find someone interesting, I feel the urge to sit with them and talk—to learn more about them. But I don’t see them as superior to me. It’s more like: I find their work interesting, or their way of life resonates with me, and that sparks my curiosity.
Another incident happened in 2023 when I was working on a major project as an IT consultant. The client hired one of the Big Four companies to run some numbers for the project. We had to meet them online, and honestly, I was a little nervous. It was a big company, and I had never worked on a project that involved hiring such a prestigious firm.
At that time, I was still pursuing my post-graduation. Many of my classmates would have been thrilled to even get hired by that company. I remember attending that meeting while sitting on the banks of the Ganges in Rishikesh during our semester break. I was expecting perfection from their side—they were the Big Four, after all. I was even worried they might ask me something I wouldn’t be able to answer.
But as the meeting progressed, I realized they hadn’t even done their homework properly. They didn’t understand what we needed. Maybe that particular team hadn’t read our requirements document, which was over 30 pages long, filled with technical details and calculations.
That’s when I realized: they weren’t extraordinary. They were just regular people working in so-called big companies. And that shattered a myth in my mind. Situations like these made me feel like I was leveling up inside. Something within me was shifting—for the better. Had this not happened, I might’ve gone on overestimating such companies for no real reason.
There was another time when I had to hire a team to build a software product. One of our teammates posted about the opportunity on LinkedIn, and a startup from one of the IITs reached out. And just because of the IIT tag, I overestimated them. That’s the conditioning I had grown up with. Since school, we were told that IITs are elite institutions, and only brilliant minds make it there.
Even I had prepared for the IIT entrance exam in school but didn’t clear it for undergrad. That added to my tendency to overestimate those who did. Later, I cracked another entrance exam and got into an NIT—also a prestigious institute, but usually ranked below IITs.
So before the meeting with the IIT team, I was nervous—maybe because their tag felt more valuable than mine. I felt it would be difficult to interview someone who (I thought) knew more than me. But again, after the meeting, I realized there wasn’t anything extraordinary. The person from the IIT startup was like anyone else and didn’t even ask us detailed questions about the project. They were more focused on converting us into clients.
Despite my doubts about their abilities, we decided to work with them—largely because I had overestimated their IIT background. Four months and ₹8,00,000 later, we had to part ways and hire a new team to redo everything from scratch. Another myth shattered.
I didn’t understand at the time why I overestimated these people. Maybe it was because I had to ask them questions on topics I knew less about. Maybe it was because it was my first time dealing with people or companies with such “tags.” Or maybe it was because, since childhood, I’d only been told: “Never underestimate someone.” And that notion went too deep in my mind.
In those meetings, if I didn’t understand something, I could’ve asked them to explain it better. I could’ve asked for resources so I could study and understand. But I didn’t.
I’ve come to realize that this behavior stems from the concept of lack. Whatever we feel is missing within us—whenever we see it in someone else—we tend to overestimate them. It comes from insecurity and dissatisfaction. But if you can truly accept yourself, without doubt, you won’t overestimate anyone. Because when you’re content with what you have, you don’t care about what others have.
Now, I neither underestimate nor overestimate anyone. I don’t even see them as “equal.” I just see them as they are.
Very recently, a friend told me that Buddha said something similar:
“Don’t see someone as though they are more than you, don’t see someone as though they are less than you, don’t see someone as though they are equal to you. Just see them as they are.”
And this is exactly what happened in my life—without me even making any conscious effort. And I’m grateful for that.