In 2022, I performed stand-up comedy in my college’s annual fest. I was the only Hindi comedian among the participants. And even in the crowd, the majority of the people were from South India, and Hindi was not their first language.
After the competition, I came to know that I secured 3rd position among the 7–8 participants. I was really happy about it, but after the performance, I locked myself in my room and wept. And these were not the tears of happiness that I sometimes get.
To see this performance of mine, I had invited my entire class. I invited the people or the core group of my college that hung out with me. But nobody showed up.
I had been waiting for people till the last moment. I was sending reminders to them to let them know about the time of my performance, and I had no reason to believe that nobody would show up. But this is exactly what happened.
When I showed the result of the event to my family in the family’s WA group, they couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t believe that I could perform stand-up comedy. They asked me for the photo/video of me performing. They said, “Your friends must have recorded the video,” and it broke my heart. It was so painful for me to tell them that none of my classmates showed up. And I had tears in my eyes telling this to them.
It was a day full of events (Tathva) in the college, but I didn’t go to see any event afterward. In the evening, my friends were calling me to attend the star night and all, but I didn’t go.
I locked myself up in my room and cried for a while. This event made me question all the friends and friendships that I made in my post-graduation days. Didn’t even one classmate care about my performance? Didn’t even a single person walk that distance to support me? To cheer for me?
Right after my performance, the results were announced, and one of my friends posted the results in the class group. And suddenly there were congratulatory messages from the classmates, and some even asked for a treat. I told them that “Everyone who showed up to support me would definitely get the treat.”
This was a moment of mixed feelings. I didn’t know how I was feeling. Was I angry at the classmates for not showing up? Was I angry at myself for keeping expectations from others? I still don’t know.
This incident was bitter, but it taught me a lot of lessons. I realized that in my life, I would have times when I would like to do something, and nobody would come to support me. It would not mean that I shouldn’t do that. It doesn’t mean that these people are not my well-wishers. It’s just that it’s my own calling. My own dream or my own thing. And it is my responsibility to fulfill those dreams. I need not think about people supporting me in doing the things that I want to do.
This is how the universe is working. Each human being is part of the cosmos, and each human being is a cosmos in themselves. Each human being is destined to do some tasks in their lives, to perform some duties. And they have to do that even if somebody else is supporting them or not. The act of their well-wishers not supporting them is also destined. So there is no need to feel bad about it. We just need to live this life the way our inner guide asks us to live.